But relaxing is not an easy thing to do. As mentioned before, our stressed lives lead us to be in a constant state of anxiety and tension. Therefore we must relearn the relaxed state. We must learn how to be completely at ease again.

Step One

Find a place of safety -- a sanctuary where you feel absolutely safe to be and where no-one and nothing can intrude upon you -- not the phone, not the door-to-door salesman, not your kids, your spouse, your parent, your relatives and friends. This is a hard thing in the present day world. So, turn off the phone (and the radio and television). Place a sign on the door that, in bold letters, says "Do Not Disturb For Any Reason Other Than Life-Threatening Emergency On Penalty of Wrath and Maybe Even Death." Tell everybody in your household to leave you completely alone and to try to be very quiet.

Wherever you choose to sit down and be still, whether in the yard or garden, at the State Park, or in the sanctuary of your bedroom, it should be somewhere with which you are very familiar. If you are used to silence, and if there are few noises that are going to disturb you (like the bump when the baby falls out of the high chair and starts to scream or the neighbor starting up a lawn mower right under your nose), then stay in silence. If there is the potential for disruptive noises, put on some "white noise" like a fan or air conditioner. If you are uncomfortable in silence -- for instance: you go nuts when the TV or radio isn't droning in the background -- put on a tape or CD, but choose instrumental music of a soothing, non-dynamic nature (and I don't mean Easy-Listening or Muzak), or perhaps the sound of running water . . . like a gurgling stream if you are used to listening to such sounds. One thing you don't want is the human voice, or anything you are not used to that is going to catch your attention.

Step Two

Sit quietly in a comfortable but erect position. A favorite chair is fine. Cross-legged on the bed, with or without a backrest, is fine. Don't lay, and don't slouch.

Step Three -- Relax the Body

NOTE: this exercise can be done with the eyes open or closed, as you choose and as is most comfortable for you.

1. Breath with your diaphram, breathing deeply, rhythmically and slowly. Breathe in through your nose and out of your mouth with your lips just open enough to permit the breath to escape softly.

2. Maintaining your breathing, relax your shoulders

3. Maintaining your breathing and relaxed shoulders, relax your jaw.

4. Maintaining your breathing, relaxed shoulders and jaw, consciously ask your body to relax each individual part, starting with your toes and working upward. Don't forget your hands and fingers. Don't forget your face and skull and eyes.

5. Maintaining all of the above, place the tip of your tongue on the roof of your mouth just behind your front teeth.

Practice this until you are able to do it without effort and without reading it.

A HELPFUL EXERCISE FROM THE ANCIENT CHINESE DISCIPLINE OF SHAOLIN KUNG FU - THE FINGER EXERCISE

Step Four -- Relax the Mind

1. Relax the Body (Step Three above)

2. "Let your mind go." By this we mean, don't concentrate on anything. Just let your brain think whatever it wants to, but try not to actively think (including judging what you are doing right now or worrying about whether you are doing it "right.") At first your brain is most likely going to do a clearing house inventory, then it is going to go through a mental checklist of stuff that is worrying you or that you "should" be doing. Let it. In time, and you must be patient with yourself here, you will run out of things to fuss about, and you will decide to let your thoughts be quiet.

Step Five -- Neutral or Passively Attentive Position

1. Once your thoughts are quiet and maintaining your breathing and relaxed body, let your head gently slump forward onto your chest.

2. Explore the feelings of this position and again, if the brain starts generating thoughts, let it and out-wait it without fighting it.

Step Six -- Active Position

When you are comfortable in the Neutral Position, raise your head level or slightly tipped back, passively supporting it while maintaining a relaxed body. Again, if the brain starts generating thought, ride it through until quiet.

Once we have mastered these techniques and can drop at will into "state," we are ready to learn where and how to utilize a few tools that will help us to perceive deeply, without which attempts will be only half as successful.